In Memory of Kaye Sarman

I apologize in advance. I haven't felt like blogging in a few weeks. Things are hard right now, and just emphasized more by the holidays.

I wanted to write today about my Mother in Law, Kaye Sarman. She passed away 3 years ago today because of lung cancer. She smoked for 30+ years.

She was a wonderful person. Probably one of the most outgoing, friendly, caring and loving people ever. Although we didn't agree on everything, we respected each others opinions, she was my mother in law.

Ms. Kaye, as everyone called her, was diagnosed with lung cancer on Friday, May 13th, 2005. I will never forget that day. Just that previous Saturday, we celebrated Aliya's 3rd birthday up at a local park. I knew she was in alot of pain, and had been for some time. She finally caved in and went to the hospital that Monday I believe. They tested her for days, thinking it was one thing, trying out different medication. Finally, we got the news that Friday. The Dr. told us it was terminal. I was actually in the room with John John, as well as her sister Sue, when we were told. I remember she turned to me and asked me "What should I do?" I looked down at John John and I told her to fight. And she did.




The next several months were horrible for her. She went through many rounds of chemotherapy. She cut her hair off. One of her sisters from Arkansas moved in to help care for her. And all the while, John's dad was there by her side. We were all praying for a miracle.


One day while we were visiting with Ms. Kaye, she turned to me and told me "When I die, I want to come back as you and John's third kid." That sorta threw me for a loop because we weren't planning on any more kids, and I wasn't ready to hear "When I die" spoken yet.

Thanksgiving, 2005. We had planned on having it at my house, but since Ms. Kaye was very weak, we were going to have it at her house, so she could be comfortable. The night before, all of us kids showed up at the house. Ms. Kaye was laying in bed, in lots of pain, and we piled up all the grandbabies on the bed and got a quick picture. That was the last picture of them all together. That night, she sorta seemed out of the loop, not quite all there. Something wasn't right.


The next day, Thanksgiving, John's dad took Ms. Kaye to the hospital, for the last time. We all went to their home and made Thanksgiving dinner like we had planned. Then we loaded it up and took it to the hospital to be with her. That was the last night she could talk to us.

The next week and a half seems like a dream. We practically lived up at the hospital. We watched John's mom slowly fade away in that hospital bed. The night of December 2nd, John came home to sleep in our bed. He hadn't been home in many days. We got a call that morning, the 3rd at 3am. His mom had passed. We both knew when the phone rang. We laid in bed and held each other and cried.

She was so amazing.